By Ross Hurwitz
I went through all four years of high school with a girlfriend. I always knew something was different but whether it was denial or something else, I never even thought of coming out. The summer after I graduated I experimented with a friend and found that all my nicely built walls were starting to crack.
I was at college for a week or so when I said to myself that I couldn't lie anymore. This was my chance to start over and I couldn't start with another lie. When I first said anything, it was to my friend Danielle. Actually i was unable to actually say the words, so i typed them. She looked at me and laughed and said "duh! of course you are!" I didn't think it was that funny at the time.
A week or so later I called my parents because I knew they were in town seeing a show. I asked them to drive by the dorm and pick me up because I needed to talk to them. I got in the car and told my dad to drive then thought that him driving was probably not a good idea and told him to pull over. It was excruciating trying to get the words out. I felt ashamed, not about being gay, but that I had lied to them for so long. I mustered my strength and told them. They were surprised but not upset. When I thanked them for being so understanding, my dad turned to me and said "Ross, your mother and I have fought for other people's civil rights for years. Why would you ever think we wouldn't accept and love our own son?" after I stopped crying, my parents dropped me off at the dorm and I suddenly felt, for the first time in my entire life, like I was totally free. I was never more myself than at that moment! It was a feeling I'll never forget.
A day or so later I called my aunt to tell her. There was silence for a moment and I asked if she was OK. She responded that she was fine but really angry and disappointed. I asked why and she said "because none of my other nephews had to call me and tell me they were straight" I think that line sums up the problems with sexuality in our culture. The fact that I felt the necessity to call my family and friends and tell them. I couldn't just be... This country has a long way to go. I know we will have reached full equality when the need to "come out" no longer exists.
PS... when I told my girlfriend she was pissed, but is now my best friend!
You just have to love who you love!
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